confused arab chick

... is everything you think it will be. America's city of lights is truely a city (strip) that never sleeps. I can attest to this, because I have been here since Thursday and I am yet to really sleep.

We went to see Cirque du Soleil's "O"..which was.. Oh Oh and Oh.
The secret garden at the Mirage is insane.
The Blue Man show is.. loud.
The Bellagio lake makes me happy.

So much going on. It's brighter at night than during the day.

.. Speaking of night and day.. It's time for bed. Ima pass out and tell you all about the rest when I get HOME.

first, the bad news:

my little brother is bored because montreal isn't exactly "kid-friendly", thus driving me mad.

my sister is ever more difficult and has to have things her way, thus driving me mad.

my grandmother is still in beirut as israel bombs the hell out of lebanon, thus driving me mad.

i went to a demonstration organized in soladarity with civillians in lebanon, and my dad said there were ten times as many people as there were anywhere else in the arab world (excluding egypt), thus driving me mad.

someone had the audacity to send me an email asking me why i, as president of the Arab Students' Association, had sent out an email publicizing this demonstration, because "demonstrations only cause more hate". I'm sorry- i thought it was bombs that caused hate, but what do i know? .. thus driving me mad.

organizing the activities of five people and keeping an apartment with five inahbitants is alot harder than being solo, thus driving me mad.



... on with the good news:

ma momma kicks ass

ma poppa kicks ass

i've been reading a lotta lotta cool books, which kicks ass

momma got me saudi dates, which kicks ass

momma also got me signal two.. the best tooth paste ever, which kicks ass

zoom zooom zoom, still kicks ass

i'm goin to vegas on thursday- which kicks ass :)



***be back soon.

my sister is trying to reorganize my apartment...


...as the powers that be try to redraw the map of the middle east.

"I don't know how many of you are actually in Lebanon right now, if you were you would see our people so down and desperate yet so amazingly posing as a united front. Although I'm sleeping under the sounds of missiles, I'm sleeping peacefully because I know WE're going to make it through. The Canadian embassy called me today and asked if I wanted to be evacuated, but I politely declined. I refuse to leave my country like a refugee, I've had my moments of cowardice and hesitance but I know that when it comes to my country I will never crawl away in some pity-boat. I will only leave through the Beirut International Airport. May corruption spread and innocence fade, may empires crumble, may martyred leaders fail, may the sun burn out and may the oceans dry, I will NEVER leave my country in disgrace.
Take care (to those who are in Lebanon),
Pray for us (those who are not),
Me"

The familia is arriving in T-6 hrs. I have been scrubbing, laundering etc for the past 36 hrs or so in anticipation of their arrival. I'm excited. Hopefully they will take my mind off shit. Hopefully I won't be "commiting murderous acts in my head" as a friend of mine thinks I will.

- Sorry I have not responded to most comments regarding Beirut- I don't know what to say and am too mentaly drained to think of much- but thank you to those who have shown concern. Smile guys- they said on CBC the bombing will be over in a maximum of 10 days, so it's not all bad.

I'm off to run a last few errands and pick them up from the airport.

I'm exhausted from crying over the Middle East. I finished painting, so all that was left to do was bawl over the miserable souls (interpret that as you will) that currently inahbit the region.

I don't know why Beirut has hit me so hard. When Baghdad fell..I don't think I was quite aware of what that meant. I understood that it wasn't GOOD- but i dunno, stuff like this fails to penetrate the bubble that is definitive of being a teenager in Doha. Besides, as much as I might know about Iraq- I've never been. Palestine.. well, there is the desensitization issue. It's been happening too long. Beirut... well, I love Lubnan. I love the carefree spirit and the fun-loving people and the resilience of the place.

So now, every morning.. I wake up, read the news and cry for Lubnan.

***

I have a friend who is currently in Nazareth- she is originally Palestinian but was born and raised in Toronto. A bomb fell two houses down the street from hers this morning. She heard the screams.

My teta is still in Beirut. She's begining to sound tired and worried, despite the fact that alhamdillah, so far, she still has electricity, food, water. Her neighbourhood is still OK.

I'm scared for the Middle East.

So much potential. So much...

"There is nothing we want more than peace on all of our borders," Olmert told the Knesset. But he said, "Israel will not agree to live with rockets fired on its citizens, he added. "Only a nation that can protect its freedom deserves it," he stated.

http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/739446.html

Since Thursday night, I have been painting. Painting my walls olive green, mustard yellow and chocolate brown. I cannot stop- otherwise I have to stop and think about Gaza and Beirut. Haifa and Safad. Human nature and the realities of war. I don't want to anymore. I'd rather think about keeping the paint off my floors and the brush strokes on top of the door frame.

Lebanon will pick up the pieces, as it always has, and continue living. The people will still party, pray, and play like they have since Beirut was the Paris of the Middle East- despite occupation and civil war.

Gaza.. well, Gaza is just a camp full of people going insane.. and I can only imagine how that mess is every going to turn out.


****

I called my grandmother today, to ask her how she is holding up in Beirut. She tells me she didn't sleep a wink because of the bombs. I ask her to please, please, please get the hell out. She has been in Lebanon a long time. "Ilee maktoob 7ay seer" (fate will decide what happens). She is not scared. She doesn't give a damn about the bridges, the airport, the roads and the infrastructure. She knows Beirut will rebuild again. She just wishes they would stop killing innocent people.
Illhamdillah, she has electricity, food- the basics. She refuses to sound worried. The peopel of Beirut are resilient.

When I come to hang up- she asks me "Habibti, don't forget to call me again and check in on me, yeah?"

Yeah.

...Beirut is Burning...



News Snippets:

"Britain is to send two Royal Navy warships to the Middle East as part of the contingency plans for a possible evacuation, the ministry of defence said in London on Saturday.
The US State Department said it was working on a plan with the Pentagon to transport Americans to Cyprus, where they can board commercial aircraft for onward travel. There were around 25,000 US citizens in Lebanon.
Naval sources in Toulon said France was sending a landing-craft transporter with four helicopters and equipped with a hospital and operating rooms, should they be needed. A French frigate was also due to arrive in the area on Thursday.
Morocco also announced that it was evacuating several dozen of its nationals by plane. The foreign ministry said instructions had come from King Mohammed VI to dispatch C130 transport planes to bring them home.
Ukraine also began evacuating its nationals via Syria. With more than 1,600 in Lebanon, the foreign ministry in Kiev said its embassy in Lebanon and consular services were preparing to evacuate those who wished to leave.
Bulgaria's foreign ministry said meanwhile that it was working on a contingency plan to evacuate Bulgarians from Lebanon. Some 500 Bulgarian nationals are currently residing in Lebanon and 300 of them have said they want to evacuate, national radio reported.
Poland said it was making arrangements for the evacuation of 100 of its citizens who wish to leave the country by Monday. Around 700 Poles live in Lebanon.
Sweden also said it was working on evacuation plans for its 2,000 citizens in Lebanon, as did the Netherlands for its 600 nationals. Russia also said it was preparing for a possible evacuation.
Berlin advised its citizens not to go to Lebanon, but said it had no mass evacuation plans for the 1,100 German nationals already there. It said it was in "close and permanent contact" with other EU countries in Beirut and was "preparing for all scenarios". (AlJazeera)

"More than 90 Lebanese have been killed and some 250 wounded since Israel began its assault after the capture of two soldiers and the killing of eight others by Hezbollah on Wednesday." (AlJazeera)

""He can benefit from no immunity. We will wipe him (Nasrallah) out at the first opportunity. That's why he had better pray to Allah," Zeev Boim, minister for immigration and an ally of the Israeli prime minister, Ehud Olmert, told public radio." (AlJazeera)

"If Siniora "had done his job correctly," followed relevant U.N. Security Council resolutions and disarmed Hezbollah, "this crisis would have been averted," Regev added." (CNN)

"Israel declares state of emergency" (CNN)

"US President George W Bush put the blame squarely on Hezbollah and said Syria should act to curb the group's operations." (BBC)

"Hadley said Washington hoped to persuade its G8 partners to agree on a statement blaming Hezbollah, Hamas, Iran and Syria for the violence."(AlJazeera) [WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?]

So I woke up this morning at 9 am, made myself some earl grey and went to my computer to read the news before checking my email and starting my day.

Israel was bombing the hell out of Beirut.
My little sister was in Beirut.

I flew into panic mode as I started calling my mom, dad, brother, sister, grandmother, second cousin three times removed etc.

My father had arranged a driver to get her to Syria from where she could fly back to Doha. Then they bombed "Il b'a3" (on the road to Syria) so the driver turned around and deposited her back in my grandmother's house. The important thing was, she wasn't scared- and the plan was to leave the next morning at 5 am, so I calmed down a little after talking to her and listening to her complain about how she wasn't allowed to go hang out downtown.

Around 3 am Beirut time, the Israeli army launched an offensive on a bridge in Southern Beirut and electric power stations. I called my sister. She was FREAKING OUT. Israeli fighter jets were flying low over the city, breaking the sound barrier. My grandmother's building was shaking and she could hear the bombs, which were falling very close by. My sister was terrified.

She's a little princess from Doha- what the FUCK does she know about war? I spent a good hour trying to explain what was happening in Beirut, and why. She responded with "That's it? That's what this is all about? Oh my God, they are supposed to be grown men. They are so immature".

Anyway, my sister finally (ilhamdulillah) crossed the border into Syria an hour ago, where she will have lunch at some relatives of ours house (of course, she has never met them) and will then get on a plane back to Doha (inshallah).

I have been alternating between blind rage, sadness, and worry all day. Israel has gone too fucking far this time. Its collective fucking punishment. And it was my little sister. It was personal, and it hit home and it just isn't fucking cool.

I ended up spending the night painting the walls of my living room so as not to go insane, and redialling her phone number every 10 minutes all the way until she had crossed the border.

15, 000 GCC citizens evacuated Beirut yesterday. Every time they rebuild that city, Israel tears it down. Every Israeli life is worth dozens, if not hundreds of Arab lives. I'm SO angry.

No doubt Palestinians are mad- fuck, they've put with this shit longer than anybody. If anybody had to constantly live with the feelings I had surging through me today, damn right they should be a raving lunatic. The situation in Palestine is of course many times graver than anything I experienced today.

.. and of course, our good friend George Dubya Bush- I watched him on the news telling the world that "Israel has a right to defend herself". You know, from my fifteen year old sister and her sinister, terroristic ways.

Spent the day "organizing my life"- now I'm gonna go watch the fireworks (refer to earlier post about "whats happening" this summer)-

As for the news.. well- no good news in the gazette for me:

"It could be an expensive summer for Montreal drivers, and not just because of the price of gasoline.
Montreal police have already issued tickets totalling more than $33.5 million in fines for traffic and parking infractions, about $11 million more than during the corresponding period in 2005, new figures released by the city of Montreal show.
If the trend continues over the next six months, Montrealers could be fined a total of $60 million for driving infractions in 2006, up from about $44.7 million last year.
For example, from January to May of this year, Montreal police officers issued more than 54,000 speeding tickets, up from about 24,000 tickets for the corresponding period last year.
"This follows the formation of a new traffic squad made up of 133 officers," said Pierre-Paul Pichette, assistant director of the Montreal police department.
The squad became active in February.
Claude Dauphin, chairperson of the city's public security committee, said increased police presence has made Montreal streets safer.
"In the last electoral campaign, four out of five houses said road safety was a priority," Dauphin said, noting the number of car accidents in Montreal has been on the rise since the 1990s.
The traffic squad is part of a five-year plan to increase safety on Montreal's roads, Dauphin said.
"Those who respect our laws have nothing to worry about," he added." (MORE)

http://www.canada.com/montrealgazette/news/montreal/story.html?id=710f6cae-6f9c-4433-bd40-1e1194c9ede7

Fuckers :P

...its been so long since I posted- I'm not sure where to start. My brain is scattered, so point form it is:

- K, well.. went to TO and that was good. The burbs are relaxing- went downtown and walked around etc etc- I went to a club that was actually good (..."in Toronto, are you serious?!"..."yup") the club had an open roof and a guy on a big African tabla to accompany the house music; i must admit, I went mad-also chilled out and wound down- now im back and things are goin nutty again- but i'm trying to take it easy.

- Mad preparations for the parentals as I scramble to buy furniture which was supposed to be bought months ago and make sure the apartment can accommodate them-

- I love Toblerone

- Went to the dentist this morning. I didn't hate the dentist before today- but now I do.

- I DIDNT GET A TICKET ON THE DRIVE BACK FROM TO!! hehehe.. I know that to normal person it would be like "uhh, yeah- so?". I promise you, this is an achievement.

- I went to the Toronto Women's Bookstore (it is on 73 harbord street for those who care to find out) and found some wonderful books. Currently reading "Arab Woman Writers" (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0791464199/sr=8-1/qid=1152565135/ref=sr_1_1/002-2772540-5556008?ie=UTF8) which is fanfuckintastic.

... now I'm going to go respond to comments, which by the look of things will take a while :P

So, I've been trying to recover from some sort of weird summer virus that has plagued my waking (and slumbering) existence for the past week. Much ginseng, soup, green tea, mint tea, chamomile tea, fucking purple polka dot and vitamin C enriched tea later, I'm begining to feel human again.

I have also been busy with wrapping up of finals (freeeedddooooommm) and bidding farewell to good friends who are moving on to greater things. Darling, enjoy the change of scenery. Enjoy the challenge. Besides- the atlantic is a non-issue for the jet-set :)

Sunshine [let-me-entertain-you.blogspot.com] (I'm on a mac so no hyperlinking) was in town for Grand Prix weekend so I did my best to show her around the town considering my pitiful state. We went up to the look-out where she saw the city skyline by night. I wish I could have shown you more- there is so much to see, but.. well- I suck, I suppose :P

Oh yeah, I bought a car!! Woo hoo for the zoom zoom and all that stuff.

As for the upcomings: it appears I will be going to T DOT O DOT to see friends I very munsh miss and to sleep too much in suburbia. You know, in my head- Toronto is just one big suburb where I can go relax. Probably why I swear I would never live there. Oh vell. Who needs to Toronto?

Apparently, the parentals are coming soon. They arrive July 20th. That is only 20 days away!! (Happy Canada Day, btw) How did that happen so fast? Either way, I'm very much looking forward to bugging my father and mother, little sister and brother. We will be going to Quebec city and to VEGAS (YEAH BABY). Should be an interesting vacation... I have not been holidaying with the familia in atleast 5 years- which makes the anticipation much greater. They will be here a full fifteen days. I hope I dont go nutty since my father has jetlag issues and my mother is.. well- my mother :)