confused arab chick

Just over three years ago, i landed in Montreal. The next morning, when i woke up, i found out that Saddam Hussein had just been captured. I shook my head as some soldier checked him for lice and the TV showed images of a tired old man.

Then his trial started, a source of entertainment for so many people as Mr. Hussein ranted on about the audacity of his 'puppet court'.

Yesterday morning, Eid morning, Saddam Hussein was executed at dawn because Mr. Bush was upset that 'that man tried to kill my daddy.

Many danced, others cried... But it seems most Arabs are as confused as I am about it. Saddam Hussain committed many heinious crimes. He hurt a lot of people. He was a dictator and a heartless one at that. He attacked other countries, slaughtered his own people and maintained the fear of his wrath in the Iraqi public for decades.

But is he alone? So many Arab leaders fit the same description.. Saddam was executed on a holy day. Eid. He was executed by a government that obviously seems bent on perpetuating the cycle of violence as they hung him for revenge which will no doubt bring about more revenge their way.

It just seems outrageous that this what we have come to. Baghdad is burning and its people are more concerned with the hoop-la of an execution than with the task of setting things right.... Have i mentioned that i'm very opposed to the death penalty?



I'm going to Dubai to bring in the new year.. Be back soon.

Christmas madness is winding down, my friend B just arrived in Dubai and verbose came and left...

now i will sleep. Till new years eve.

For several years now (has it been five already?) I go to the same house for christmas. I eat the same cookies, drink the same hot tottie, sit on the same Santa's lap and celebrate with my good friend and someone I almost consider to be my second mom. I depend on Christmas being the same. It gives me stability as the year winds down. It's familiar and it's solid and it's just the way i like it- a perfect mis of tottie, turkey and pecan pie.

Today I went to the same house and ate the same food. Santa was sick, but Mrs. Clause did a good playing Santa's helper.

But Christmas wasn't the same this year.

I'm using my brand new nokia WLAN enabled phone to blog from my bed. My laptop won't pick up the wi-fi, but my phone will. Technology is funny like that...

I went for a facial today... And a i cried and cried as the evil lady squeezed things i didn't realize could exist out of my face.

I also went to souq al waqif. What a kick ass place. Beautiful antiques, ancient doha history, great knick-knacks. I felt like a tourist! Spent the day bargaining and strolling around with my camera. Of course, i still managed to spend a fortune. I plan on going back to do some more strolling and to hang out with all the cool old salesmen. There was one guy playing an instrument and singing outside his store. He's super cool..

Anyway, its about time i get to bed... All the bickering with my grandma today is catching up with me..

...is confusing like that.

It's great to be home, but when you don't know if you want somewhere to be home anymore it all becomes very fucked up, innit?

I had a fight with an asshole today- and he told me to go back to my country. Because he could. Because he was Qatari, and I, am not. Bastard- that's twice it that someone has said that to me on trips back to Doha.. and both times I've said "ana tirbayt il doha" (I was raised here)- one more time.. and I might slap the fucker who decides to say it.

You know, there are many Qataris that are polite, honest and down-to-earth. Then there are smelly rotten-toothed bastards like the shit I argued with today.. and they ruin the image. The asshole wanted to call the cops on me. For no reason- I suppose he was bored. When he saw that I was not scared and was about to call the cops on him.. he just took off with a "warning". Apparently, he kept my license plate number in case. I took his down, smiled and 7affesed in his dirty face.


*****************************

My parents house is nice. I sleep, eat.. chill with the fam, eat, sleep. I must say I'm loving it.

The sun finally came out today, in all its glory. Made me smile. I left Montreal almost 20 days ago and only today did I feel like I was really seeing some sunshine, and even then.. I have to admit it was quite cold in the evening. Even for a Montrealer- I needed a light jacket. I don't think its gotten this cold in Doha for around 8 years.

Either way, I have a yoga class tomorrow. Yipee- and good night.

Qatar won the Asian Cup football... Isn't that great? Family was cheering, clapping, singing, hooting, jumping.... standard Arab behaviour for a football game- I was following the game from upstairs while they sat downstairs just by listening to them.

I'm finally chilling- will be in Doha for a while and plan on milking it. Much book reading, TV watching, sleeping.. and yeah, thats about it. It's great, innit?

- I finally met Cat right before going off to Dubai.. 'twas great. Sat in Mint (the only cafe with not too many people and far too much personality for this place) and drank my earl gray..

speaking of which.. I think I've been drinking an average of about 23 cups a day of all sorts of tea since I got here (earl grey, african nectar, green, jasmine... the arab red stuff with mint.. the cheap chai from the tea stall..)- is that bad for you?

• Where are the Arabs in Dubai?
• When this new phenomenon with permanent cleaning ladies started in the Gulf? Who came up with it? What mall owner, one day came to the conclusion that his toilet was clean because he had a "khadama" and that the solution to dirty public toilets is to stick a lady in a public toilet to wipe up after every single person? How did this become standard practice? The guy just woke up and figured that paying her Dhs/QR 500 was easier than putting up a sign that says "please keep bathroom clean" or even educating the masses about hygiene?
• How it is that my friend at AUS can honestly say that a 5 series is a "good car for a student" straight face and everything
• How my friend can think that spending Dhs 22, 000 on a "Vertu" phone or whatever they are called is.. NOT the dumbest thing ever? Can't you buy like, a corolla for that much?
• Why beef tastes so good in the Gulf.. halal sure is good for somethin!

You know you're in Dubai.. when every conversation you overhear... someone says "the biggest in the world".. hehe- gotta love the Gulf.

You know that lesson you know you're going to learn? You've known it since you were 16 or so.. the minute you start growing up, you know the lesson will come- the one that will harden your heart a little, and put up walls next time you want to trust someone?

You've always known it would come, but somewhere you hoped you'd keep getting lucky with the people you opened up to. So you just hope, you hope that "smooth sailing" will avail.

I learnt my lesson today.

You know that lesson you know you're going to learn? You've known it since you were 16 or so.. the minute you start growing up, you know the lesson will come- the one that will harden your heart a little, and put up walls next time you want to trust someone?

You've always known it would come, but somewhere you hoped you'd keep getting lucky with the people you opened up to. So you just hope, you hope that "smooth sailing" will avail.

I learnt my lesson today.

Cleaning up the mess

An underground shelter that was hit
"Al Dayheh lan tankaser hata law kam yabqa feeha hajar"- (Al Dahyeh will not break, even if there is no stone left here)
A Qura'n, abandoned.
A cat, hanging out in the rubble.

A destroyed building- a marketing opportunity. Blue jeans.

Welcome to Lebanon

Dear Diary,

I woke up this morning, went to the hospital and saw my grandmother just as she was waking up. She told me "Bahebek kteer kteer" (I love you very very much). And I teared up a little. They brought her into her room afterwards, and she was crying. "What has the doctor done to me? What did he do?"

I went to Sabra refugee camp today, and saw how and where I could have ended up.
I could have easily ended up in this parallel universe, where no one is permitted to work for a living and the children play in the garbage while Arabic pop music blares down the market, next door to the butcher.

Strange sights, stranger smells.

I also went to Da7yeh to see the destruction of war. There were many fallen buildings, and no one seemed to notice- they were just going about their day to day. Guys on their bikes, with water gallons and a baby or two. Women strolling around chatting. Guys on walkie talkies. Me snapping away.


I think I've had my dose of reality for a while. Cancer, Poverty and War.

Onwards to the Gulf please.

Beirut is breaking my heart.

My god, don't people learn? Harriris assasination managed to somewhat unite this country and then BAM-- look at that, the Lebanese are killing each other on the streets of Beirut again. Hasn't Beirut seen enough bloodshed? And for what?! for fuck all.

My grandma.. we've been taking her our, keeping her busy, full of lebanese food and hopefully, a little happier. They operate tomorrow and inshallah khair.

It's somewhere near 3 am and I cannot sleep. I cannot sleep. I cannot sleep.

I FINALLY got a whole good nights sleep last night, and apparently my body has decided that this is plenty of sleep relative to what I've been getting for the past 2 weeks and so I don't need anymore tonight. What can I say? I tried talking to it. Won't listen.

Tomorrow, I'll spend the morning with my teta and go off for some serious soul searching and photo snapping. I'm going to Sabra and Shatilla. I want to see what remains. Tis about fucking time I see how so many Palestinians live. I'm also going to Dahyeh, the neighbourhood that was flattened this summer. We'll see how I feel about all this tomorrow.

As for me, I'm currently effin starvin. I need some food in ma belly. But I left my books in the room and will wake my mom up if I go inside to grab a book so that I have something to do while I eat. I guess I'll wait for breakfast?

Beirut is broken, but strong. It makes me worried and sad. Kids are killing each other. Kids who weren't around for the civil war, and can't understand what it means. They were shooting each other up in my grandma's hood last night, and apparently something was going down tonight too.

Any one familiar with Beirut? Solidare is packed with tents. The Hizbullah-Oun people are chilling there in shifts till parliament is dissolved. Nasrallah asked for no violence. People don't like to listen so much.

The army is all over the city. Tanks. Big Tanks and Army trucks and soldiers with guns. On almost every street in Beirut, and a few up in the mountains too. Way, way more soldiers than the last time I saw this many, in 1996.

The hotels are empty, the restaurants are empty, tourism is virtually dead.

.. its fucked.

Right,
so I arrived in Doha last night, and am off to Beirut this morning with my momn and little brother.

I'm sitting at a computer with a flat screen and high speed internet, in Qatar's First and Business class terminal, thinking back to the days (really not all that long ago) when I was trying to check-in online to my connecting flight in London and couldn't because the business center had dial-up internet and couldn't keep up with BA's website.

This terminal is the first of its kind in the world. The ultimate in segregation of classes. First class flyers have their own terminal, with suitable duty free shopping and so on. All we had to do was get here.. bags whisked off, check-in ultimately sped up and passport control was a breeze. I don't even know what to think.

On another note.. I'm f-in exhausted. I slept an hour on the flight to London, hopped aroudn the city all day, got around 5 hrs sleep that night- got on a plane here and got about one hrs sleep, because I didn't want to sleep so I could avoid jet-lag, of course when I got here.. a friend came over, and since I'm leaving tomorrow we drove around and gabbed till about 5 am. Was in the the airport for 11. I'm a walking zombie. My mom is very upset that I haven't brushed my hair.

After changing my plans approximately 37 times- K, so i'm outta here tonight- spending Saturday in London, will be in Doha by Sunday night and on to Beirut by Monday.

My grandma is sick. I'm surprising m mamma in Doha on Sunday night and getting on a plane with her Monday morning to go sit with my granny. She has breast cancer.


Inshallah khair- they are operating Wednesday.

Updates will follow.

After changing my plans approximately 37 times- K, so i'm outta here tonight- spending Saturday in London, will be in Doha by Sunday night and on to Beirut by Monday.

My grandma is sick. I'm surprising m mamma in Doha on Sunday night and getting on a plane with her Monday morning to go sit with my granny. She has breast cancer.


Inshallah khair- they are operating Wednesday.

Updates will follow.